Every so often, something happens in life that is so poignant, fantastic and incredibly random that it makes you stop and think.

About 4  months ago we decided that it was time to sell our high chair.  We posted about  it on a local bulletin and a woman called that was interested in checking it out.  The kids and I were home when she arrived with her blond, gorgeous little blue-eyed baby.  She was stunning in her red pig tails, and I could tell by her energy that she was interesting and soulful, and I tend to gravitate to people with those qualities.   We talked a little, and after she left I went to check out her website that showcases her work as a professional photographer and musician. And by professional, I mean professional.

A few weeks later, I saw Ali Smith again in the plaza where we live and stopped to chat.  She asked me if I would be interested in being a part of a book/documentary that she is doing called “Momma Love“.  She wanted to capture a mother’s life with toddlers in Manhattan.  Of course I was honored and excited to be involved in anything that she does, so I gave her my information.

I spent a great portion of that evening on her website reading about her work and especially the Momma Love documentary.  I was moved to tears by some of the photos in the documentary, which is nothing short of exquisite.  They are edgy, slightly raw and completely real.  Her ability to capture a moment in time is truly astounding.  Being that I have such a strong, impenetrable bond with my  mother and embrace my own motherhood to its fullest, I thought it was beyond beautiful.  Celebrating the divinity of motherhood and the community that we find amongst each other is part of the essence of life.  It isn’t always fun, and it certainly isn’t very easy.  I found her work to be very relatable and profound in these ways especially because even still, it is awesome.

Introducing her book, Momma Love, Ali states:

“Momma Love is not only about the love a mother shows. It’s about the love she is shown, by herself and the world around her.  We all feel an undeniable pull toward our mother’s love. If the bond between you and your mother was strong and healthy, it created a space of unparalleled safety and comfort for you. If it was distorted or missing, you’ve probably spent a lifetime coming to terms with that fact, seeking it out or letting it go. Either way, mother love is profoundly symbolic and powerful—so much so that entire religions, mythologies, and classic works of literature are built around either the sanctity or the destructive power of it. Societies need ‘Momma Love’ in order to survive, but very often don’t know how to take care of it properly.  The details and rituals of motherhood largely go unnoticed and are taken for granted. They are talked about among mothers in private places—in toy-strewn living rooms, in kitchens, or over the phone while a child throws a tantrum on the floor nearby. To an outsider, motherhood seems like a profoundly important secret society, one that I started this project to understand more fully.  Each woman I photographed for this project has the truth of her experience to offer. In creating this book I have attempted to bring a community to light, creating a patchwork-quilt of advice, empathy, reflection, commiseration, opinion, anger, assurance, and love. In order to nurture healthier mothers and a healthier society, honest conversations about the realities of motherhood and how mothers are treated are necessary.”

Not only to Ali and I click as friends, but we have a common interest in showcasing how mothers live and the collaborative effort that is involved in motherhood.

One of the photos that was taken from our shoot was used in my header for Momma’s Gone City.  Here is another one of my favorites:

Ali Smith Photography

In 2007, Ali did a project that was printed in the June 2007 issue of Bust Magazine.  She went to photograph women in the Maximum Secuity Women’s Facility at Bedford Hills Prison, New York.  “It was a photo essay on the unique program they have there that helps mothers bond with their children, educates them about parenting, helps them get off drugs in part so that they can parent better once they’re out. Babies born in prison are allowed to stay with their mothers in a nursery ward for the first 18 months of life, providing important bonding for them that would otherwise be missing and potentially damaging. Inmates have to be deemed appropriate (meaning the nature of their crime and mental state) to participate in the program.  It’s revolutionary in the sense that it’s humane and not solely punitive in nature and takes into account the very real situations of thousands of children living with incarcerated parents and the shortcomings in the lives of the mothers that helped lead them to where they are.

Ali Smith Photography

Ali Smith Photography

Ali Smith Photography

This project sank my heart and was very uplifting at the same time.  Here, women who -by society’s standards- do not “count” as mothers, are highlighted and given a voice from behind bars.  Ali surfaced the voices and hearts of these women, and reminded the world that they do exist.  If there is one thing that sickens me, it’s the thought of babies and children being without their mothers and fathers.  Of course, perhaps this isn’t the worst case scenario for many of them, but I appreciate the fact that the state is looking out for them.  I appreciate the fact that Ali Smith and Bust Magazine would publish a project about some of the forgotten children in society because of a crime that their parents committed.   You can find the article pages here, here and here.

I encourage you to check out Ali’s website ( http://www.alismith.com) and even share a story with her about your parenting experiences on her blog.  She would love to hear from you for her Momma Love multimedia project.  For me, meeting Ali and being introduced to her art was incredibly inspiring.  I’m beyond humbled and appreciative to be a part of her project and I hope that you take as much from it as I did.

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I wasn’t really sure what this summer was going to bring for our family.  Last year, we spent the long days packing and preparing for our big move across the country.  The year before that, Justin was cramming for the DAT (Dental Admissions Test) and we were all getting ready for the birth of our baby girl.  No matter how busy we got doing other things, we always  spent days and weekends with family and friends either at the beach, pool or bbqs.

This year is different.  Our familys are in other states and our friends have either hunkered down with new babies, summer school, or done what the rest of NYC residents do during these months: LEAVE.  Well, since Justin started back to school a couple of weeks ago, I’ve gotten a bit bored.  Parks and spray grounds are tons of fun, but even those get old every single day.   So when the opportunity came for us to take a road trip, I didn’t think twice and booked it.

Things that I didn’t take into consideration:

  • I would be alone
  • For eight hours
  • With two toddlers
  • Who get very carsick.

I’ve always been the spontaneous type -to a fault- so I just figured whatever happened I could deal with it. I’ve astounded myself by my ability to deal in unexpectedly *craptastic* situations lately so I didn’t think that it would be a big deal.

I was generously given a fantastic minivan to test drive on the road trip to Ohio, where I was born and where much of my family still lives.  The 2010 Volkswagen Routan is a dream.  Being that I owned a Volkwagen Jetta for many years and loved that car to bits, I was more than thrilled to test drive the Routan.    I can honestly (no really) say that I will consider purchasing a minivan when we leave NYC in a few years.  With all the features that it offers, it seems silly to go any other route.

It didn’t really occur to me either that I would be driving for the first time in nearly a year and straight through the middle of Manhattan.  That made me a little anxious, but it was actually quite easy.  Both kids were very cozy in their new car seats, also generously provided for the trip by Safety 1st.  Birdie was snug as a bug in the Complete Air Convertible Car Seat while Bubba was feeling like a big kid in his first booster, the Go Hybrid.   I plugged them into some new Juno Baby DVD’s and we were off.

It only took about twenty minutes before we had to pull over.  One of the features of the VW Routan is the power doors.  They really came in handy on the side of the road. Those two ate and puked NINE times in three hours.  Insane.  All was finally well about 6 hours into the trip when we met up with my dad and stepmother in Pennsylvania.

The visit home itself was really nice.   It was great seeing family, playing outside in the grass, and going to Target 12 times.  I even got to see my oldest friend and our children played together at a lake that her grandfather built.  The kids caught their first lightning bugs, learned that you can’t piss off a cat with no claws, and had ice cream cones nearly every day we were there.  They were in heaven.

On the seventh day when it came time to leave, I wasn’t worried about car sickness.  They went the entire week riding in the van without getting sick.  I stocked up on bags and wipes regardless, but nothing could have prepared me for the nightmare that ensued.

They made it about 6 hours in the car until I realized that I had taken a wrong exit and backtracked for an hour. Then Birdie puked, and almost immediately Bubba went, too. By the fourth stop (we were in Jersey at this point) I entered a full-on panic.  It was dinner time, and I was already late meeting the man who would pick up the Routan from us. They were both stripped down to their diapers, and completely wiped out. The screaming in the car was the least of my problems when I entered the dead stopped traffic heading into the Lincoln Tunnel.  I peeked into the rear-view mirror and both of them were simultaneously throwing up. I couldn’t pull over, I couldn’t help them.  I remember muffling my laughter, but not happy laughter. The kind of laugh where I know I’ve gone off the deep end.  I immediately started to cry right along with them.  It was the most ludicrous situation I have ever been in… One that I felt that I could control but I really physically could not.

An hour later they  had both fallen asleep and I entered Manhattan. By the time I pulled up to my building, the nice Routan man was there to greet me.  I sent the kids upstairs for some daddy therapy while I unloaded the van and cleaned up the massive mess. THIS IS THE BEST PART.  By the time I had gotten everything upstairs, I realized that my camera was missing.

Security cameras showed a man picking up my camera from where it was sitting on a planter near the minivan and walking inside our building.  Everyone has a magnet card entry for the doors here, so his ID was pegged immediately.  The next evening,  after we plastered the area in “Missing Camera” posters, the man called to return my camera.  I’m not sure if security had gotten to him first, but I really don’t care.  My camera, and most importantly my pictures, were all in tact. If that isn’t a glorious New York City story, I don’t know what is.

In the end, everything was fine (aside from a slight case of  PTSD- nothing a little wine couldn’t fix).  My kids were healthy and elated to be back home in our city with daddy.  I had a week full of beautiful memories and the photos to document them.  My faith in humanity had been given a bit of a jump start, but ended in the best way possible.

The day after we returned home, Jack asked if we could take another road trip to Papa Tim’s.  Kids are so fantastically resilient, aren’t they?

The Volkswagen Routan was lent to me for a week to test drive on my road trip.  I was astounded by the gas mileage, the amount of storage in the vehicle, all of the bells and whistles (GPS Navigation, headphones for the dual-dvd screens, climate control) and the way the third row of seats disappeared with the push of a button.  In a word: Dreamy.  

Safety 1st provided us with the Complete LX Convertible Car Seat with Air Protect Side Impact Technology (accommodates rear-facing infants from 5-40 pounds and forward-facing toddlers from 22-50) and the Go Hybrid Booster (converts to regular booster and comes with it’s own carry bag).   We put those seats through the ringer, and cleaned up perfectly. I removed both seat covers and washed them thoroughly.  I was really impressed by their ease in adjustments, buckles and comfort for the kids. The safety features were the reason why we went with the company though.    We saw a demonstration at an event and it was pretty incredible (video demonstration provided with the Air Protect Side Impact Technology link).

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Project Mom: Life is a Highway

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When I think back to my life a year ago, I feel like I was a completely different person.  A different mother, a different wife, a different daughter.  Before my family uprooted and left everything remotely familiar to live in Manhattan, I was a fraction of the person I am today. Life was  a diluted [...]

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There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t recognize and feel tremendously grateful for the wonderful people and things in my life. Some days it’s easier to feel that way than others. Today was one of those days. Tomorrow is going to be another one of those days, but slightly different and incredibly [...]

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Of Nick Swisher and Legos

July 10, 2010

Lego just recently moved into their flagship store in Rockefeller Center, and Bubba and I were invited to attend the Grand Opening. I jumped at the chance to check it out both because my son is an avid Duplo fan, and well, mommy wanted to see Nick Swisher in person. Let’s be honest. Nick Swisher [...]

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Letters From My Husband

July 6, 2010

My husband has never had an entire night with the kids alone. That is, until I went to the EVO Conference last weekend for three nights and four entire days. It was definitely difficult for me to be without them, but I was more worried about them being with out me. Not that I didn’t [...]

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New Life, New Traditions

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The Fourth of July used to mean BBQ, picnic blankets, fireworks, festive desserts and lots of family activities. Holidays away from family and friends have been the hardest thing to adjust to after our move. I’ve always been a big fan and celebrator of holidays, and since having children it’s only gotten more fun. It’s [...]

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My First Conference: EVO ’10

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Early last week, I was fortunate enough to attend the EVO Conference at The Canyons Resort in Park City, Utah. I had heard some buzzing about it on the internet in the previous weeks, but hadn’t put any thought into actually attending due to finances and, well, leaving my family. The stars aligned just so, [...]

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Chicco: Fashion in Focus

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A little while ago, I was invited to check out Chicco’s new products and styles at their “Fashion in Focus” event. Being that I have a background in fashion and marketing, I really loved seeing the beautiful patterns and vibrant colors that Chicco has to offer. Being an Italian company, you can really see the [...]

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Manhattan: A Day in Our Life

June 22, 2010

Last week while my husband was in California, my mom flew over to visit for a couple of days. She came just in time, after Bubba’s health scare and just in time to save me from a near total and complete meltdown. What is it about mother’s that they know to be there just in [...]

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