I just realized that I haven’t posted anything about my little boy yet. The worst part? I was just looking at it with Bubba on my lap…scrolling down, down, done. No pictures of Bubba. (And just in case you are wondering, yes we DO sometimes call our children by their nicknames. Z has always sounded like a little birdie since the day she was born and Bubba is more of an inside family love joke).
I also haven’t spent any time with him since his sister came along in late September. The day before I was to be induced, I took Bubba to our local favorite toy store and cried the whole time. And I don’t mean wiping away silent tears while he played with their trains. I’m talking SOBS. Pouring tears. I knew that our relationship would be different from the following day forward, and while it is a great different, it’s still different. I miss our days just hanging out the two of us. I thought I was completely hormonal and being over emotional but in retrospect every single tear was validated.
Two days before Z was born. I love this picture, even with the belly, and even though he wasn’t feeling good.
The other day I took him to see his first big screen movie. Just the two of us, we went to see UP. The movie was wonderful, and the quality time with Bubba was so special… it was one of the best days that I have spent with him since baby girl came along. I loved the movie, but I kept getting sidetracked watching him sitting next to me, sipping his drink and putting it back into the cup holder. Popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth from the tray sitting on his lap. Just me and my boy. He didn’t last the whole movie sitting in his own seat (which was collapsing on him because he is still a little guy), about half way through I scooped him up and plopped him on my lap. My nose in his hair the rest of the movie- that scent alone gets me love drunk.
I miss the days when I could just sit with him for hours on end, watching him take in every single moment with his big, brown eyes. Just him. Just me. My little J.
Don’t get me wrong though, there isn’t a second that I wish that anything was different. The relationship between J and Z is one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. I have never been as proud, or as gleefully happy as I am now.