Did You Find Out?

I have lots of friends that are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, or having babies very recently. I am suffering from a bad case of screaming ovaries myself, but I’m not any of those things (YET! mwwwah ah ah). Of my mother-peers at Bubba’s preschool, one is just 14 weeks pregnant, two of them are about to pop, one of them has a brand new baby boy, and one of them is in that first category. I am in the enjoying-my-skinny-jeans-but-not-so-secretly-really-want-to-be-pregnant category. So I’m just going to indulge myself here and talk about when I WAS pregnant.

When we found out we were pregnant with Bubba, Dr. J was very much opposed to learning the sex of the baby. He wanted the surprise because “there aren’t any real surprises anymore in life”. I’m sorry, but how is finding out that you are HAVING A BABY (and not when you are expecting to) NOT a surprise? I had my quota of surprises for the year. I wanted to plan the colors of my nursery, the baby’s clothes, and the stroller – you know, because you DO that sort of thing with your first child. More than anything, I just wanted to get to know this little being in my belly before he was actually born… that nine months is magical. Even with the sickness, the medications and the sciatica, I will never forget the joy of carrying my children. It’s strange, fascinating, and intoxicatingly beautiful. Without knowing the sex, it seemed harder for me to bond with the baby. I can’t explain why, as I am sure that I would bond with our baby in utero with or without knowing the sex. It just felt right to me to find out, so we compromised and, on the day of THE ultrasound, decided to have the technician write the sex on a piece of paper and fold it into a paper crane.

He chose a blue piece of paper to write the sex on. We thought maybe it was a hint, but that would be ridiculous, right? I did all I could do with that thing without actually taking it apart. I held it up to the light to see if I could catch any writing, I checked the paper for the indentation from the pen. I stared at it sitting on our bed stand every night and felt him moving around inside of me. How I longed to know who this little one was! I seriously had the hardest time waiting for what seemed like an eternity until we opened it together. I cannot fathom how some women wait the entire nine months to learn if they are having a girl or boy until the very day that the baby is born. That being said, I also have the utmost respect for them. Those birth stories are so incredible.

We opened our blue paper crane at our rehearsal dinner in front of our closest friends and family the night before we were married. I secretly was hoping for a boy, mostly because I was petrified of having a girl (turns out for good reason! KIDDING). It was a moment I will never forget. So special, even if I felt a little twinge of guilt, finding out that we would be having a son.

When we learned that we were pregnant the second time there wasn’t any question whether or not we would find out the sex. I’m sure I’ve told you this, but we found out we were pregnant at the very same moment that we learned we were moving across the country for dental school. So again, sapped on the surprises. We knew we could use any additional planning help we could get, especially if we needed to plan for PINK (or NOT blue rather… I’m really not that into pink). So this time when we went to the US tech, he told us right then and there. Except he was kind of sneaky and fooled us into thinking that it was another boy initially, until he finally said “No, kidding! It’s a girl!” Despite the raging nausea and bad skin -both of which are dead giveaways- I didn’t believe him until she was born. For the baby book purposes, I asked him to fold us another paper crane. Guess what color he chose??

Since we live in New York now, I assume that if and when we get pregnant (God willing) again, we won’t be asking the Dr. to write the sex on a piece of paper and fold it into a paper crane. I am actually really planning on NOT finding out the sex of the third baby. We have both girl and boy things now, so there really is no reason to find out early. I would love to have that feeling of the doctor exclaiming “It’s a BOY!” or “It’s a Girl!” as soon as he or she makes her way into this world. One of life’s true surprises, right? And does the third child even have a baby book? Come on. Bubba’s book is overflowing with adorable titbits like the last time he burped an OMG IT WAS SO CUTE. I haven’t even written when Z’s last three teeth came in. I won’t be worried about a paper crane, I am quite sure.

If you feel like sharing, I would love to hear your stories. Did you find out what you were having when you were pregnant? I find every story fascinating. I’m sure my husband will run for the hills when he reads this post, but that is what blogging is for, right?

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