I can hardly believe that March is almost over. The cold winds and frost bitten mornings have subsided and the streets are now sprinkled with smatterings of white and purple petals. I’m just catching my breath after what has felt like a freight train picked us all up by our ears-lifted us right out of our shoes and carried us to today.
We’ve had smoother rides. My children are all wonderful-they are kind, respectful, caring, happy, beautiful little creatures and for that I will constantly scratch my head and wonder how I got so incredibly blessed. Beau is a dream baby and an absolute joy. They all three sashay through their predictable days of peaks and valleys, always eager to see what’s next to come.
It isn’t them.
Perhaps it was the addition of another being into our lives, or the exhausting and intense hours that dental school demands of my husband and the new babe demands of me, or the post-partum hormones, or the illnesses that raked us all over the coals several times. Maybe it was the stress that comes with all of the above weighing on me and threatening to take me straight off the edge of the Cliffs of Sanity that I have so precariously and presumptuously planted my feet into.
The truth is, I don’t know what it’s like to not be married to a student. Our marriage has always withstood the long hours of studying, the relentless final exams and eventually the vacations that always immediately follow. It’s a roller coaster of emotions interlaced with stress that we have all become accustomed to, yet we rarely remember to brace ourselves for the rough inclines and extreme decels.
This is my normal, and it’s something that I’ve prepared myself as much as possible to withstand. We’re just coming of a period of time that just wasn’t good. The times where I was so stretched to my extremes that I had to shut myself into my room alone just to cry.
Justin is a machine. He accepts each challenge (and there are many) with his chin up and his feet firmly in the starting blocks, and he always makes it through to the end shining brightly. And then he comes home and is completely involved and devoted to each one of us.
I have much to learn from him, the way he rocks steady.
With Spring this week came vacation for the 3 out of 5 of us that are in school, so we’ve been spending a lot of time together. Free, uninterrupted quality time as a family, going about what is my normal routine but doing it as a family. Life without stress-it’s the best medicine. It’s the only medicine, and we have been soaking up every last drop.
Union Square farmers market, ballet, taekwondo, playdates and dinners out. Exploring the city again now that the weather is warm and I have an extra set of hands.
Remembering to hone in to our home base while we can before school starts up again and we’re back to scheduling family dinners and racing around just trying to Be. I’ve loved so much about our life in this city, but this life has brought much stress and I’m ready to take it down a few notches. If that means trading in my Saturday afternoons walking around the Flatiron district between shopping, bookstores and the park with the kids for a minivan, a laundry room and a back yard, I’m at peace with that.
For now, I’m just enjoying my husband and my children and preparing for a big trip with all three children (solo!) to California on Saturday. We’re heading to the Bay Area for a little quality time with our families-our home of a different variety. A little home-away-from-home sanctuary and we’re all SO ready.
I’m sure I’ll be updating from California with stories of our traveling-circus adventure. Until then, be well and enjoy this glorious weather.