I did a very silly thing when I was two weeks post partum with Beau. Christmas was right around the corner and both of our families were coming into town for the holiday and to see the new baby. Naturally, I wanted something nice to wear for the festive holiday plans we had on our calendar, and a big part of me couldn’t wait to get into clothing that wasn’t maternity or my uniform of black leggings. So, I went to my favorite clothing store and grabbed a size up in about 5 different pairs of jeans and took them into the fitting room. Knowing that I shouldn’t expect my body to bounce back weeks after having a baby, I still felt like I had lost 20 lbs since having the baby, so I should fit into some normal-person jeans, right?
Jeans don’t lie. Jeans tell the truth that I had been covering up and masking with dark colors and stretchy material. The great thing about jeans is that even though they are only as flattering as you allow them to be, they will always be there, and they always have the same story. I was so ready to slip on a new pair of jeans and own my body, more than several pounds heavier than I wanted or expected to be. I certainly wasn’t ready for the brutal truth that was the much larger size staring back at me than I had wanted. Defeated, I hung the jeans back up and left the store, not willing to pay for a new pair of pants knowing that I still had a considerable amount of baby weight to lose.
Three months post partum and I’m still a couple of sizes away from my normal weight. I did go out and buy a new pair of jeans anyway, because even though I’m not at my goal weight, there’s something about denim that exudes a certain confidence and mindset. Even when I don’t feel like I have either of those in my daily repertoire, the second I put on a pair of jeans I feel ready to conquer the world. Or maybe just the day. It’s a starting point, anyway.