My Life, Unchoreographed

by Jessica Shyba on May 13, 2012

in Lifestyle,Parenting

Motherhood has been my life’s greatest challenge. And the truth is, motherhood has completely consumed me, especially since Beau was born. It’s pretty obvious, especially to those of you who know me and/or have been reading my blog for awhile. Babies will do that to a person of course, but I just kind of thought I would be able to handle everything-I mean, he is my third. I’m currently playing the most vicious game of catch-up that I’ve ever attempted.

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I’ll get there.

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I find myself teetering on the mountaintops of anxiety over raising my children to be happy, healthy, smart, confident, and emotionally stable. I thought I had years before having to worry about this stuff, but it’s started super early and completely taken me by surprise. This parenting gig just keeps getting more difficult.

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(and beautiful)

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Articles in popular news magazines blatantly calling me out for being Mom Enough while slapping a label on my parenting practices haven’t helped those anxieties much, but it’s been interesting conversation. Being an “attachment parent” isn’t going to guarantee my kids go to the best schools and have the best lives, but I can do what’s right for me because it feels the most natural. No labels needed.

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Herein lies my greatest challenge-while doing what’s most natural to me, I’m also trying to teach these babes the lessons that I either never learned myself or barely passed the first course. I believe life is about raising the people one fosters to be “better” than themselves. I want to leave this earth knowing that I contributed to the beauty of mankind in a positive way, and having and raising children with the groundwork for loving with all of their heart is the best way for me to do that.

Somewhere between sopping up spit-up, detangling Barbie hair, mounds of dirty laundry and last night’s spaghetti hanging from the wall are the moments when all of those lessons are learned by the little ones watching me be their momma. Part of this terrifies me to my core, knowing that they see me in all of my human moments, the unchoreographed scripture that is my life as a mother. On the same note, I’m comforted knowing that the very things I learned from my mother and ancestors are exactly the things I hope to pass on to my own children.

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While parenting is challenging, nothing is worth doing unless you’re learning from it in the process. I’m learning just as much from my children as they are from me, if not more. Children are this world’s greatest educators, if only I could remember more often to stop and absorb their organic, unbridled love.

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Happy Mother’s Day to each and every one of you.

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