Back to NYC, Back to Me, Back to my Belabumbum
My first trip to New York City after our move to Santa Cruz in August was in late February this year. I was so anxious to stand amongst the towers of endless buildings and see if I felt any different than I did when we lived there. Secretly, I was hoping that the magic, mystique and feeling like I fit in there like a puzzle piece would have slowly dissipated once we relocated to what will ultimately likely be our forever home in California.
The moment the NYC skyline was in sight from my window seat on the airplane however, that same rush of excitement and relief came over me like it always did from the very first time we ever touched down at JFK. It’s interesting to grow up in a place and feel less and less like I belong there as I get older, and at the same time knowing that we couldn’t have relocated to a better place to raise our family. Our families and friends are here, and now Justin’s practice is here too. I want so badly to feel that anchored, NYC feeling about our home now, and while my own personal evolution feels slightly tempered here, I’m certain that it’ll come on it’s own time.
As glorious as ever, even-especially-in the snow.
It’s weird that I even miss the smoky hot dog carts.
I took the time on this trip to do many of the things that I love to do in the city but often couldn’t because I had the kids with me at all times. I stayed in a lovely hotel and worked in solitude, marveling at the levels of concentration I found amongst the peace and quiet. During the day I visited friends for breakfast or lunch, and then made time for picking up a few NYC essentials to bring home to Justin and the kids before meeting another dear friend for dinner. Even though I usually can barely relax when I’m not with my kids (granted, I can’t relax with them around either but it’s just different), I was able to treat those moments in my city as Me Time, and was the closest thing to therapy that I’ve experienced in a while.
With Julia Beck of Forty Weeks. The loveliest dinner, the loveliest friend.
The trip back to Manhattan this year came at about the 12 week mark of my pregnancy. Not only was I phasing out of the morning sickness, but I was also physically beginning to change quite a bit, too. Even the fourth time around, I’m consistently surprised at how vastly different each pregnancy has been from each other. There’s also a truly special feeling of knowing that this could very well be our last baby, and the whole, completeness that comes with knowing that is one that I’ve been really hoping for. I’m ready to celebrate every stage of this pregnancy just like it was my first, and because of that I’m going all out.
I visited my hairdresser and then went off to a very special photo shoot with Belabumbum, my favorite maternity lingerie brand, to document this fourth pregnancy in photographs in a light that I just wasn’t able to do with my other pregnancies. In a sense, this trip was very much about getting back to me, my city, and celebrating with Belabumbum.
I’m thrilled to finally get to share the results of that shoot. As comfortable as I am behind the camera, I am equally as uncomfortable in front of one, so this was definitely a stretch for me. The photographer was incredible though, and she was able to document a very happy, excited and content me.
Queen Bee Nightie
The session included catalog shots with a real model who was also expecting-who was completely adorable and also totally used to photo shoots like this, which eased my tension a bit.
And my favorite:
I know that while I’m grateful for these photos now, I’ll be even more so in a few years. Not to mention, the clothing itself is some of the dreamiest lingerie and loungewear I’ve worn, and that is in itself an awesome feeling. This time around, I’m constantly struck by how incredibly special it is to be pregnant, and how lucky I am to be experiencing it for a fourth time. The little things aren’t bothering me as much-the fatigue, the food aversions, the constant rotating of clothing, and the endless hormones. I’ve even started to feel the baby moving already, and each time I’m nearly stopped in my tracks by how amazing it is.
I am so happy and grateful to have a place in the world that affects me the way NYC does, regardless of whether or not I’ll ever actually reside there or not. It’s such a treasure, that city. Not just to me of course, but I like to think of it as my own and I carry it in my heart as though it always will be. My trip back to New York City was an unexpectedly full-circle experience for me, and one that I was really needing. I came home to Santa Cruz, and my family, feeling like I was ready to embrace our new life and new home and incredibly excited for the changes to come for all of us.
Completely content with my babies, including our fur baby.
This post was sponsored by Belabumbum. All opinions are my own.