August 28th, 2014

Jack started his second day of second grade today. It was a long and lovely, somewhat unstructured summer during which he appears to have grown about a foot. His hair went from brown to blonde from long days at the beach and afternoons playing basketball in the street with his buddies. He’s getting more complex emotionally as he matures, conversations with him have never come all that easy unless he initiates them, and they seem even less so lately. I know him well enough to understand what triggers his rough times, but another part of me feels desperate to lasso his little soul and massive heart and hold on for dear life. He’s getting older, and while I can see slight shadow of his babyhood in his cheeks I know this year will likely eclipse any and all glimmers of the toddler he was so very briefly.

IMG_4551

Second grade was my favorite year in elementary school. These years are so incredibly pivotal, and feels almost more so as a parent watching while they venture through each milestone socially, emotionally and in their education. I tried not to hold his hand or ask for a hug before leaving him in his classroom. Watching him as he looks around his desk nervously, for friends, for familiarity, for security, I want to so badly be right there with him in every single moment just as I have his whole life. I want to protect him and his heart, and learning to let go is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

We’re taking baby steps.

IMG_4844
IMG_4891

He-we-will be just fine. This kid is nails.

IMG_4827

Zoe also changed over the summer. Her features also defining by the day, but it’s her personality and the little lady she’s becoming that blows my hair back every day. On most days, I can see the Virgo in her blossoming: She organizes her shoes and makes her bed daily, and has become so incredibly opinionated and particular about things that we just sort of let her find her mojo and go with it (to a degree). She is big heart and engulfing emotion most of the time, and I’m far less concerned about her year in first grade than I was or am about Jack. She walked into that classroom like she owned it on the very first day, and came home announcing how “awesome” her new class is. She is the fiercest little girl I know, yet there’s an intense sensitivity there too, something that even I can barely touch or reach sometimes.

untitled-4612
IMG_4806
IMG_4883

Beau went from a toddler to an actual boy in the matter of a few months. This little soul barely knows how to whisper, and talks in full sentences at the top of his lungs most of the time. He is fiery and bold as well as incredibly sensitive; He understands and considers the emotions of those around him and generally reacts based on those, too. He talks in the third person all day, and it just might be my favorite thing ever, ever.

Preschool starts next week for him. I’m trying to manage my emotions about that, but given my hormone levels that isn’t going to be easy.

IMG_3036
untitled-4607
untitled-4679

I wanted to try to capture them right now, just before they launch fully into their new grades and right before we become a family of 6… It’s sort of like chasing a rainbow though. The color and light is there but I just can’t seem to catch it. These beautiful little people have taught me more about life than all 35 years I’ve spent on this planet, I’m just so grateful for that, and for them.

Join the Conversation

20 Comments

  • Your post brought me to tears. There is real love and devotion in your words and photos. In this crazy world, such a refreshing blog. Thank you.


  • “Like chasing a rainbow…”

    You spread faerie dust each time you share these spirits and your perspective on life with them. Wishing you so much joy and health. These tremors of “already?” are so appropriate . What a wild ride, parenting and letting go. Xxoo


  • I just left teenager-hood and kids are far far in the future for me, but I read & enjoy all your posts. I love how you capture your kids in photos and write about their growing personalities. You’re a great role model for someone like myself who wants to have many children — I can’t wait to read all about #4!!


  • These children are so cute and the story is so touching.


  • You DID capture the rainbow beautifully. It is such a pleasure to see and hear how these sweet souls are blossoming. (Still think Beau squealing in his highchair caught the essence of his energy which has not changed!)


  • Sensible parenting & society should give secure freedom to early childhood for social learning & education.Early & adult childhood needs emotions & care from parents for social life adaptation. Elementary school education is first step of social learning for early childhood.Sensible parenting should encourage & give familiarity of social biological process to early childhood for healthy understanding of elementary phase of life. Ref- @mommasgonecity


  • Your posts are always incredible. My husband and I hope to start a family soon and I look forward to the endless possibilities of treasuring life with a little one. Your blog reaffirms that every moment with them should be cherished!


  • I have followed your entries for a really long time now. For some reason it wasn’t until this entry in particular that I felt I just couldn’t hold back from leaving a comment to let you know, even if yes it is coming from a total stranger, that I so admire the person that you are as a mother, and as an individual for having the awareness to think about and capture all these beautiful things about your children, your animals, and your connections to places and people. Your entries just reflect that you make a conscious choice to enjoy and to discover quality in all moments of life, and that is so so admirable : ) have an awesome weekend!


  • Beautifully said…your children are so lucky to have you (and Justin) and vis-versa. You are like the family that I wish I would have been lucky enough to have myself. Atlas, the universe granted me furbabies and no husband instead.

    Thank you for letting me into your life, your world and for sharing.


  • We have 4 children…and in the days preceding baby #4’s arrival I vividly remember looking back and feeling desperate to capture those moments. Even though we had done it before I ached knowing that we were once again changing our family dynamic…but it was flawless! Hands down the easiest transition, and it was as if we were always meant to have #4! She’s 2 now and still the “baby”. Her siblings dote on her and we feel like the best thing we’ve ever done was take that scary step to become a family of 6. Good luck, mama! It will he perfect!


  • Sweetest post yet! I’m trying to capture what’s left of my “baby” before Kindergarten starts here next week but I’m with you the changes scare and excite me. Love how attentive you are to each child’s personalities, strengths, and struggles. I’ve never met your Beau but I thought he was exactly as you described lol. Wishing them a great school year!


  • Beautiful. Precious. Wonderful. Your words and your family πŸ™‚ <3
    Prayers for you all in these next & all important days!


  • I wish your family health and happiness, and to all of those children in need!


  • Your children are beautiful, sensitive, so far beyond their years. As parents, you must be so proud of them! You’re doing a fantastic job of nurturing those precious babies. Good luck on your new addition to be – can’t wait to see hi or her. Anxious to see how Theo deals with his new bro or sister. Your writing is beautiful, by the way. Thanks for sharing your life’s journey with us. I feel grounded and it brings a sense of peace and sweet smiles every time I read it.


  • You captured the feelings of many parents on this blog πŸ™‚ It is like catching a rainbow! And by the way,my son aged 3 is “in love” with your daughter! I usually show the pictures from your blog to my kids and he is very excited to see Zoe on them. Today he said to me “Mom, Zoe looks very lovely and I want her to visit us”, so if you ever come to Finland, number one fan is waiting for her πŸ™‚


  • Your three children are the same ages as mine! I love seeing their different personalities and comparing them to my kiddos! Beau reminds me a lot of my youngest who will be 3 in November. My daughter who just turned 6 is quite the girly girl, but is messier than her brother! I have to imagine what my oldest would be like as she was stillborn at 37 weeks. My first two are 13 months apart in age! I enjoy reading your blog and especially enjoy pictures of Theo and Beau. My son has a lovey that is a taggie blanket with a dog on it. He is in love with dogs!


  • I love this post. Jack sounds like a 2nd grade me. πŸ™‚


  • Such a beautiful, touching post. I read and follow all the time and this one got me. My 3 boys are roughly the same ages as yours and you just illustrated those feelings perfectly. Thank you for always sharing. Blessings to your new addition.

Follow @mommasgonecity on Instagram