Finding Enough

Something I think about every time I’m in NYC is how incredibly anxious I was at the thought of raising my kids here. Coming from my cozy little town surrounded by family, it seemed dirty and scary and positively the last place I envisioned myself to be even semi-permanently with my babies.

Until I got here.

I steeled myself each time I loaded Jack and Zoe into the double stroller and headed out into the middle of Manhattan, only to find the people around town to be nothing but incredibly kind and helpful. Strangers helped me with my stroller in the subway, held doors for me without fail, and one time a man chased me down the street to return a wad of cash that had fallen out of my pocket with my MetroCard.

A couple of days ago, a gentleman even offered me his own umbrella as we passed each other on the sidewalk in the pouring rain and sleet.

This is New York City, the place that changed me as a person, an adult, and even as a mother.

IMG_3921

I decided last year after we had gotten settled into our new life, new home and new town in the Bay Area that we needed to make frequent trips back to the city with the entire family. If we can afford it, this would be the trip that I would choose to take annually, to bring Jack and Zoe back “home”, to keep Beau acquainted with the place of his birth, and to slowly introduce Evangeline to the place where we really became who we are today as a family of six.

IMG_4024
IMG_4012
IMG_4008

It’s fascinating to watch the kids reacclimate themselves to the pace here-it’s entirely different from what they are used to now, yet they are so comfortable with walking down the street with tons of people, you’d think they never left.

They are as giddy and delighted by the new experiences and places to see as I am, or maybe I am myself in a childlike state of perpetual excitement here in my own personal playground. There’s just something about it, like an unclaimed love note it’s something that I need that I never knew I already had.

IMG_3123
IMG_3098
IMG_4177

I don’t want to leave and that in itself breaks my heart. I want this to be enough.

Traveling with all four children has definitely had its challenges but more than anything I am so grateful for this experience. We are all better individually and as a family changing our normal routine to encompass and embrace this part of our lives in a time of so much growth. I couldn’t be happier to see how it’s affecting them in the loveliest way, too.

Join the Conversation

9 Comments

  • I love NYC – I feel I must have been a New Yorker in a previous life. The draw and the emotion I get every time I am in the city is overwhelming. Thank you for sharing the pictures of your family’s vacation! Maybe someday soon I will plan a trip for my own crew.


  • I’ve lived my whole life in the Bay Area . All I ever heard was that New Yorkers were rude people. It’s nice to hear in your blog that you encountered some nice people. Maybe one day I will see New York,


  • NYC is the best city. Had the privilege of living in Queens for a short
    stint while I did a nursing assignment. Both pre and post NYC is so unique.
    New Yorkers are resilient! If you ever need to figure it out, this is the place.


  • With this one sentence – “There‚Äôs just something about it, like an unclaimed love note” you have so eloquently put in to words how I feel about the city but can never explain to people who will never understand all the ways in which I love it and it is such a part of me, even as a non-native. I am so glad there is someone out there who seems to have been so changed by the city as I have!


  • Beautiful! I want to visit NYC so badly (and maybe even live there…)!


  • As a mother of one little boy who just turned one I finally have a grip on his schedule and feel like we have figured each other out (for now.) Your blog has always been very inspiring to me to get out of the house and show my son new experiences, start traditions, and actually act on becoming the “show you the world” and “memorable childhood” kind of mother I would like to be. It is so easy to stay in the house and have the same day to day routine with your child, so I thank you for your inspiration and allowing others to read your experiences with your kids! K


  • I’m biased but because of experience. The best and smartest kids I have ever known were raised in New York City. They were tolerant, empathetic and smart beyond measure. They were cultured and street smart. They also had world class educations. Sure, they were spoiled. But I meet plenty of spoiled brats all over. I think NYC is the best classroom, whether you’re young like my William and Caroline (the kids I’m talking about–I was their nanny for 5 years)…or older and in college, or dental school. Your kids are lucky to have New York be a character in their life. And I’m happy that you were happy in NY and will come back to visit.

Follow @mommasgonecity on Instagram