Re-Emerging as a Mother of Three

The last five weeks since Beau was born have been filled with love, laughter, exploration, frustration, exasperation and many, many lessons.

Jack and Zoe have been troopers as we grow and mold our lives to accommodate this new little being into our family. We’ve done everything we can to keep their lives as “normal” and uninterrupted as possible. They are creatures of habit, so every day begins and ends exactly the same way in terms of routine… right down to the order in which they drink their milk and water before bed. It’s a science that only a fool would dare tinker with.

In an effort to promote their individuality and give them something that is their own, we signed them up for a couple of special activities that they chose for themselves: Tae Kwon Do and Ballet (this gender divide is REAL and completely organic, I am here to tell you).

They know exactly which day is theirs and love every minute of their chosen sport, though I’m not sure if I’m the one that loves it the most in the end.

My greatest concern about having more than one child was if I would be able to give each one enough of our attention. We’re finding ways to make this happen on an individualized basis, but it’s a work in progress.

I generally put Beau in a baby carrier (I’d be lost without the Moby Wrap) and walk with Jack or Zoe to their programs, hand in hand. He is young enough still that he sleeps for hours in the wrap, so while it isn’t exactly individual time with the older kids it’s still really special. We walk through the city talking and sipping hot chocolate, and somehow the chaos of the city dissipates outside of our little bubble. Floating along amongst the honking cars, hustling pedestrians talking on cell phones, delivery guys whizzing by on bikes and impatient cabbies is far less deafening than the screams of the dirty dishes and unwashed laundry in the confines of my apartment.

I leave my home most days just for a morsel of peace. Outside in the city with my children is when I can really focus on them without the impatient nagging of endless, meaningless chores and tasks waiting to be done at home.

(I love this city like crazy.)

Once the bigs are down for the night, I’m able to fawn over and coddle sweet little Beau. He takes a bath nearly every night to calm him before his first big sleep stretch.

It is one of my favorite parts of each day.

Even though this is my third baby, all of these things feel so new again- and I love them even more. Probably because I know first hand how fleeting this baby stage is, I’m cherishing each and every single moment with Beau-even the less-than-pleasant ones.

I’m completely addicted to this baby.

Life as I know it has changed drastically and while it is extraordinarily beautiful in many, many ways, I’m struggling to reclaim even a shred of the corner I had carved out just for myself. It’s like I’ve been crawling around blindfolded trying to find it and while I know it’s there, I can’t feel it or touch it or BE in it for even a moment.

This is life with a new baby, life with three children, life as a full time mother and wife. I love my life. I just miss being able to do the things that make me feel productive and fulfill the creative part of me that I’ve discovered in the last two years.

There are many fantastic things on the horizon for us as a family and for Momma’s Gone City (my creative side). I can’t wait to share them with you. Until then I will be delved deep in my role as mother and wife, learning lessons and living and savoring each moment with all of my babies before they go and grow up too fast.