On Secret Keeping & Anticipation

When we found out we were pregnant with Jack, my husband didn’t want to find out what his gender was. He wanted that surprise in the delivery room where the doctor announces and we all rejoice in happiness and tears. That wasn’t something I was interested in, as I had been carrying this child for 20 weeks already and wanted to be able to connect with this new little person that was such a part of me in so many ways.

Plus, you know, I wanted to shop.

We compromised at that 20 week appointment and asked the doctor to write the gender on a piece of paper, and he folded it into a crane so that we (I) couldn’t peek. On the eve of our wedding day, we unveiled the secret at our rehearsal dinner in front of our closest family and friends, a moment that still brings tears to my eyes. Our lives were changing and big, big things were happening for us. That anticipation of knowing even some aspects of those changes was more than I could bear, and so we ceremoniously unfolded the crane and learned that Jack would be joining our family and we decked the halls and filled the drawers in his nursery.


While the same was true for my pregnancies with Zoe and Beau, we found out their genders in the ultrasound room. First with Jack in our arms and the second with both Jack and Zoe present. It was exciting for all of us, but especially Justin and I, watching their faces and feeling the emotional impact of that information. Jack and Zoe were still fairly young to fully comprehend what it meant that I was pregnant with their little brother, but we processed it together throughout the following 18 weeks before he came flying into our lives in that little hospital room in Manhattan.


Evangeline will most likely be our last biological baby. Going into my pregnancy with her, Justin was steadfast that he did not want to know her gender, so we agreed that I’d keep my knowledge of that between her and I. It was a solid plan for exactly 13 hours, when I accidentally blurted it out and subsequently burst into tears. Secret keeping is not something I’m good at especially with my husband, but I wanted desperately to give him this surprise.

So I compromised and subsequently set us up for one of the most beautiful days of our lives, introducing Evvie to her sister and brothers. We managed to keep her gender secret from the children and many of our relatives and friends, and I can say that the reveal was so, so much fun and amazing and wonderful and filled with smiles and tears just like we planned and hoped for. All four of our babies have brought those things in their own ways, but I can definitely attest to the fact that a little anticipation and hope is good for the soul.


Sometimes I’m actually pretty good at secret keeping though, especially when I’m under entrusted to do so. I’m working with Earth’s Best, a brand that I have used and trusted since Jack was born to reveal a big secret that they have coming to their line of products at Target. I’m excited to help to build this anticipation for their newest addition coming in the next couple of weeks. Keep an eye out, it’s going to be really fun.

Thank you to Earth’s Best for sponsoring this post. All opinions are my own.

Join the Conversation


  • Look at you having a gender reveal party with Jack before they were the cool thing to do. Such a trendsetter!

    I had to find out with all 4 of mine. The anticipation killed me, even though I knew they were going to say “boy” each time!

  • Love the picture of the yawning urchin and her big brother. What fun these pictures are and you are so good at it all! Thanks so much, Claudia in Bonita Sprngs, FL.

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