Unpolished Moments
A couple of weeks ago I thought I lost my iPhoto library. I had spent an hour looking at online tutorials, following the step-by-step process of trying to transfer all of the photos from my MacBook Air onto a large external hard drive. I had purchased it the day that my brand new Air nearly crashed from trying to upload too many files… So basically in order to ensure something like this never happened in the first place. My pictures are the one thing I never, ever want to lose. Ever.
When the library revealed zero files transferred even after I double and triple checked before deleting on the computer, a pit in my stomach formed. These were only supposed to be my “backup photos”, the ones that were taken on the side when my big camera wasn’t involved. And yet they were so much more than that. I had almost lost all of those moments that happened in the meantime. The ones that happen in an instant, when the only camera I have the time or hands for is the one in my pocket, on my cell phone.
The raw moments. The ones I took of myself, knowing that they wouldn’t get taken otherwise. The ones for only me to remember in the future; Unkempt hair, without makeup, clutter in the background, life in the foreground.
The candid moments, when the best photo in the stack are the ones blurry with movement, with the actual life happening on the other side of the lens.
Her first bath. Her first doctor visit. Her first trip out of the house so that I could meet with the lactation nurse. How the camera doesn’t show that I was a nervous, emotional and physical wreck.
The days that slipped into evenings that turned into nights that lasted an eternity. This little babe and me, bound to each other in a way that we’d never be again.
The glimpses of the challenges with Beau and his slow adjustment to Evangeline’s arrival.
His heartbreak, my devastation. Our paralleled elation.
All of these unpolished moments, perfect in their honesty and yet leaving just enough of the story for my memory to fill in the rest.
For so long I’ve regarded my cell phone camera as a backup to my mind, to keep the moments stored until I’m ready to process them once again. It’s somewhat of a relief to rely on devices to fill in when I think my memory might fail me, but I’m mostly pleased to have some captures of these fleeting minutes.
In the end, I was able to recover the iPhoto library. I’m not sure how, but it’s there and I cried when I saw all of those messy, beautiful moments.
beautiful…beautiful family, beautiful words, beautiful inspiration.
So beautiful. I relish looking back at those fuzzy cell phone snaps and video clips. I recently showed my husband a video of our newborn son (now 17 months) and he said, “I barely remember him like that.” How quickly it goes.
Thank you as always for your beautiful words and pictures. I’m going home and backing up tonight!
I just recently gave birth to my first chid, Collin. I too, found myself taking lots of pictures with my cell phone even though I purchased a SLR Hybrid camera in anticipation of our little one’s arrival. I have found that the cell phone is much more handy, meaning it’s in my hands most of the time- thereofore being the device I use to take pictures in most every day circumstances. I just recently heard of Groovebook which is a service that prints 100 photos per month directly from your iphone. The books are bound so they can be kept as photo albums, but the prints themselves are also perferated so you can frame them or display them individually or give them to others to have (great for cards). The monthly subscription is only $2.99 and as long as you select photos each month the book automatically ships to you. This would definitely alleviate that “pit in the stomac” feeling as you would always have your photos in hard copy. I love your blog and read it every day. You inspire me so much (almost enough to blog myself, but not quite). Until I can find the time myself I’ll just keep tuning into yours.
I’ll absolutely look into that. Thank you! <3
Lovely!
I’m begging you to use an online back up service… please please please. External hard drives are know to crash and the recovery is questionable and expensive!
I use Crashplan… they are awesome! and it backs up my computer, photos, EHD’s -( that are plugged in) and any other documents and programs I ask it to.
My house almost burned down one day, but I noticed the burning smell as we were walking out the door… I didn’t online back up then, everything would have been gone!
Just do it. For the sake of your beautiful photos!
and sweet Beau, we’re all rooting for you! before you know it, you and Evvie will be the best of friends!
Thank you for the reminder… I’ll look at that too. I’m sorry to hear about your home-so devastating.
Did you find your photos or are they still lost?
edited to add-yes! I found them! I published too soon apparently 🙂
Ahh. the gifts of an ordinary day. Love this.
yes, this exactly.
Many times we get angry at ourselves because our phones are always right there. But then we need to remember that they are capturing the daily doings that we would never capture anywhere else. Love this so much. xo
Thank you Tracy <3
Since you also have a Mac, I’ll share this tip I recently discovered and have started to use every time I upload photos. In iPhoto, you can add on Shutterfly to the “Export” function. (It’s called Shutterfly Export Assistant and I seem to remember I downloaded it from Shutterfly, but it’s been a while…) So every time I upload photos, I then also export them to Shutterfly as another way to back them up. I also back up to an external drive but it’s nice to know they are organized online too, if I ever needed it. And it’s free.
You are such a beautiful writer. Your posts are what I think about on a daily basis as a mom; I wish I had the eloquence to capture my thoughts.
There is just nothing like getting your emotional sea legs with a whole new person altering the dynamic. I have complete faith that you will ease into harmony, one that you all trust, until that time be gentle on yourself. You are (all) magnificent.
xxxooo
Thank you for sharing your precious moments with your family. I would love to be your next door neighbor and could just sit on the porch and chill and enjoy how crazy life is. Your a wonderful and awesome mom, keep up the good work 🙂
This is so lovely, Jessica and I am SO glad you were able to get your photos back!
I am struggling with how much time I spend online/onphone these days but the ONE thing that I cannot seem to think is a bad thing about it all are the photos I take with my phone. SO many little moments captured that I can never get back again. And I am grateful for them all, even the “unpolished” ones…
Thank you for always being so honest and true. Can so relate to your words.