I can count on one hand how many dates I’ve been on with my husband in the past year.Give or take one or two nights, we went out for our anniversary, one night before Evvie was born, and once for Justin’s birthday. It’s not something I’m proud of, obviously, but given all that we’ve had going on in our lives the last 12 months, it’s not completely surprising.
Our marriage has been sacrificed in more than one way since the baby was born.
While I’m completely aware that spending alone time with my husband should be a priority (channeling Ayelet Waldman), it’s easier said than done. Bringing my relationship with my husband to a better place is on the forefront of my mind and the top of my to-do list.
Of course, there are 15 other things that have top priority on that list, too. Isn’t that just like parenthood, though?
When it comes to hanging with Justin, one of my favorite things to do is going out to dinner. Especially lately, when I’m cramming random food into my mouth whenever an opportunity arises (sporadically), it’s so nice to have a really good meal made and brought to us while my only responsibility is conversing with my husband. Just having the uninterrupted time with my friend is really truly one of the greatest gifts, and helps our relationship remarkably. Making these nights out more of a weekly or bi-weekly, or heck, even a monthly priority on our calendars can be a challenge for sure, but it is completely worth it.
It’s a fun inspiration to get a new outfit or dress or even a pair of shoes to go out in,especially now that I’m postpartum, and ready to find something new with a reason to wear it.Not that we need much of an incentive, but being able to put our dinners and my new shoes on the American Express EveryDay Credit Card brings peace of mind that we’re also building points that I can either use or donate to a charity (with Christmas coming up, that’s definitely an option I’m exploring).
So even though we’re doing something for our marriage, it will also benefit our children and family as a whole in more ways than one, but also someone else’s family as well.
The first step in prioritizing our marriage is making space on our calendars for each other. After Evvie was born, we took her to one of our favorite spots for dinner while she slept and the big kids were at home with family. Although we would have appreciated the time together, she was too young to leave her and I wasn’t willing to forego the date all together. It doesn’t matter what we do, or where we go, but it’s that much more fun to make reservations at our favorite local restaurant. I know that if there’s a reservation, we’re much more likely to actually hold to it. It’s something fun to look forward to when the weeks are packed with school, baseball games, guitar lessons, soccer practices and gymnastics every other day of the week. That precious alone time is only for us.
Not to mention that once I make 20 purchases with my Amex EveryDay in a billing cycle, I can earn 20% extra Membership Rewards® points, I can get there much quicker if I’d just treat myself to something special and take my husband out to dinner. Feels like a win/win to me.
Thank you to American Express for sponsoring this post, and thank you for reading.
I see those pics of the two older kids. Please post pics of them on throwback Thursday . I like seeing what they looked like as little ones . This blog does hit home on making time for the hubby. I will definitely have to do some date nights
Will do! Thank you.
I’m totally not the person to do this, and I do enjoy your blog so this isn’t that necessary but I just want to point out, as you become more and more involved in the blog world, and yes, I understand that you’ve had a crazy year but that you’ve gone on way more than a small handful of dates with your husband because you went on a sponsored baby vacation less than a year ago, which most average people don’t just get sponsored for them.
I’m not sure why that comment annoyed me but as you get more and more sponsorships you can’t just say that you’ve only had a few dates, because it’s just not true, and all your readers who have been reading for a while know that.
Feel free to delete my comment, I just wanted to put it out there.
Hi Mattie, you’re right, we did go on a vacation together. It was our first and might be last together for a while. And yes, I’m so grateful for that opportunity. However the daily life with four kids doesn’t allow time readily for date night (unless I prioritize, which was my point). Respectfully, date night and vacation are two different things. I’m not sure what about what I said you thought wasn’t true or what my intention would be for lying.
I am married over 37 years and keeping my husband a priority has been shaky at times with all the responsibility that goes along with being a working mom and running a household, along with parenting growing children.
Jessica, your point is well taken and I love how you weave it into this sponsored post from AmEx.
Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy it.
Loved you New York Chronicle!
xo
Thank you Loretta! Prioritizing marriage is definitely something that needs to be a conscious decision (for me at least).
Mattie, you say your not the person to do this , and it isn’t necessary… So why did you? It’s not too late for you to delete.
I think your comments are annoying Mattie. Don’t know why people always have to question every thing Jessica does . Your Instagram people come out of the wood work with annoying comments. There’s always gonna be jealous people . Keep up with what your doing Jessica. Your doing a great job with all your endeavors.